So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this just has baby written all over it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
