9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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