Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
