I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
