I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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