Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
