i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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