I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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