Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have aggressive nipples.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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