Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
