he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
