end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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