He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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