So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's just like the Real World with babies
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
