"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
