hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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