O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
