yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
