so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize