No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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