Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
