Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
