census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
