are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
