is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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