i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
