i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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