I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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