I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
