The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
