New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
