An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize