Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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