it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
