sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
