they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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