Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
