i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
