I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize