You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Holy sore nipples Batman
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
