if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
