Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
they need to just BURY HIM!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
