just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
