D3 body, D1 cock
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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