We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
