I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
