i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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