It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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