i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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