let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
