Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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