break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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