me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
