I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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