Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
