i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
