I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
