dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
