well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
