All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
