He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
