I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
